6.25 miles and frozen corn.

6.25 miles.

i just ran that. and it was fantastic. this is the farthest I have ran since the doc told me close to 7 weeks ago that I need to stop running. overall, the run went great, but the bad part is that my foot did bother me, actually I am icing while typing. bahhumbug... does this mean I shouldn't run my half? if you ask me, no... but im hard headed and stubborn... but it does make me nervous even if I know dancing on it this weekend made it sore.. along with the 4 miles i ran on sunday. soo... in 3 days I ran 10 miles... not too bad.

i am running 13.1 miles in 11 days. 11 DAYS. I feel like i have been waiting for this forever, oh wait.. i have.. i started training in DECEMBER. if only i hadn't been injured... i would have rocked the socks off of this race. but instead i'll be full of joy if i get myself across that finish line. woof. this sucks.

do you know that frozen corn (or peas) is THE BEST for icing body parts. im serious, i'll never use anything different.

i am washed by the water.

this is a tattoo i really want and something that is really close to my heart. Needtobreathe has a song called "washed by the water" and it is by far one of the best songs ever written, i almost choke up everytime i hear it. it is such a constant reminder that even when life freaking SUCKS and things are hard, we have Jesus. I mean, Jesus is a legit guy and he makes ALL things new, its just a matter of living through that brokenness and hurt. I think a lot of people run from this or look for a quick patch to cover it up but i don't feel like that is how Jesus would have wanted us to live. I think life is all about this hard stuff, living through it, suffering, hurting, crying, screaming, banging on that door with prayers just waiting. I think going through hard stuff makes us who we are and really affects and shapes our character. I will NEVER take back anything hard I've been though or will go through.

Why cant you just walk like Jesus walked? Love like he did?

My dear friend whom I just ADORE said something like this tonight, referring to someone we both know. This person is so quick to judge others and say somethign bad about them and it bothers us... and this is what Jenny wanted to say to her. and as she said that it really made me think and get really mad at myself for the times i have said not nice things about people. i HATE when I do that and I am really trying to change that about me, but it's hard. I want to walk like Jesus did, LOVE like he did.

but this is hard when you have friends around you who don't believe in you. they make comments about you and what you say instead of encouraging you and realizing you are truly trying to make a life style change. i gave this up for lent and it was hard, and I failed sometimes but i tried, a lot and to not get any credit for that really hurts. giving this up was far different than giving up sweets, or coffee or facebook, this is a real lifestyle change, I want to change myself, to be a better person. a little support and encouragement would be nice, but instead they focused on my flaws. woof.

so friends who believe in me when I say I am really stronger and he's going to hurt me this time, or when I catch myself and say sorry and you recognize it... thanks, you mean the world.

do you think that if you cry when you cant run that youre obsessed with it? because thats me and the fact that my foot hurts right now, makes me want to cry. have you ever had a bad run where you just can't get yourself going and your feet feel like bricks and you cant breathe and you feel like you could collapse? yea, me too... but does that make you seriously angry? ... it does me. i think I am obsessed with running.

Even when the rain falls,

even when the flood starts rising,

even when the storm comes,

YOU are washed by the water.

Even when the earth crumbles under my feet,

even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me,

I wont ever, ever let you down,

I wont fall, i wont fall.. as long as you're around me.

strawberry cupcakes, 8 miles and what does this mean?

strawbabies.

Dear friends, I think I may have made the best cupcakes I have everrrrr made. So, for teacher appreciation week I decided to make my co-workers cupcakes.... and for some reason I have been thinking about strawberry cupcakes a lot lately... soo well i made some. I had no good recipe options so I hopped my way over to www.smittenkitchen.com (THE BEST BLOG EVER) and typed in the handy search bar "strawberry cupcakes" ... what comes up? Pink Lady Cake. ... hmm. I looked at the [complicated]recipe and knew these were it. I didn't change a thing except I put them in a cupcake pan, not 3 layer cake pans. :) They were marvelous.... so much so that my little brother wants them for his birthday... caaa ching. you need to try these cupcakes, i'm for serious.

first photo is the finished project. :)

8 miles.

i have ran 8 miles in the past week, EIGHT MILES. After being out for over 6 weeks and really not running at ALL (besides a realllly light 3 miles and 2 laps around the track) 8 miles feels amazing. Doc told me that I can run as long as I don't hurt before, during or after and surprisingly that has been the case. I just ran 3 tonight (new PR for that particular run!) and I can feel my foot if you know what I mean, it doesn't hurt per say... but I feel like it's just saying.. "hey, hey, hey anna! I am here, be careful."

I need to listen to my body. I am totally that run through the pain girl, one more mile girl, sprint at the end and don't let anyone beat me girl... I am that girl... but I am realizing that if I keep being that girl I am going to be that girl who is getting surgery. God has got to be teaching me something through this experience because this stuff is HARD. I am also very, very hard on myself, my workouts are never "enough" i always feel like I could do more and this too, has to stop. I am healthy. I am strong. that is important, not how long I was on the elliptical or how many crunches I did, especially if I am fairly consistent and I switch up my workouts...

Dear Anna, it is OKAY to have a light day. It is OKAY to not do a ton of abs and arms. Its OKAY to go to spin and then just go home. its OKAY to just do yoga one day. jeesh.

I've got to get a handle on this sweet tooth.

I have the worst sweet tooth ever lately and its killing me. I think I might give up sweets for a while to tell myself that I dont NEED them, to teach myself that they should be a treat and not something I eat a lot of every day. ( I mean im not horrible about it but still)

greek yogurt is amazing. try it. [thats all]

Do you ever find yourself asking God, or wanting to ask God... "what does this mean?" ? because I do. lately. now. a lot.

I had this friendship that was really important to me for 4 years... and even though it was one of my favorite things and was really awesome, it also was really toxic. It taught me a lot but it was hard and it hurt and i cried a lot. There came a time where I had to decide that i was done feeling invisible, like i was the only one in this friendship and this was seriously one of the hardest moments of my life. Admitting that this person didn't look at our friendship the way I did felt like I was knocking the wind out of myself over and over. I stopped this friendship completely for 4 months and I promised myself I wouldnt be the one to start it again. I prayed over and over for God's will to be done with this friendship because even though I knew deep down what I wanted for it I knew it was more important for me to pray that God do what he wanted with it. I even told God that i knew his will probably wasnt mine and that it would hurt but it was okay. and then when I am starting to feel peace about this whole thing, true, real peace and forgiveness ... 4 months later... this friendship pops back into my life. what does this mean, God? Am I supposed to jump back into this? Are you telling me its okay? Or am I manifesting all this in my brain because its secretly what I want? when i think about it and then randomly see this person, is this a sign? how do I read this? why did I go through 4 hard but great years? Is this a friendship that was never supposed to be? why were the things that were said, said? why were deep stories told? why was there ever a feeling of being invisible? what does this all mean God? am I supposed to let go? why would you put this person in my life for no reason? what's the reason? i need some explanation. im afraid of doing the wrong thing.

but this is the thing about God. he's not just going to hand over an explanation to me on a silver platter. he's going to teach me, he's going to show me but I have to trust him, i have to have faith in HIS plan, I need to know that it all happens for a reason but I also need to be okay with not knowing the reason, I pray that i can do this, that i can continue to put this in is hands and completely trust that he's got it all figured out. i need to just be.

just roll with it. no worries. no hurries. just Jesus.

there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. the one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18