strawbabies.
Dear friends, I think I may have made the best cupcakes I have everrrrr made. So, for teacher appreciation week I decided to make my co-workers cupcakes.... and for some reason I have been thinking about strawberry cupcakes a lot lately... soo well i made some. I had no good recipe options so I hopped my way over to www.smittenkitchen.com (THE BEST BLOG EVER) and typed in the handy search bar "strawberry cupcakes" ... what comes up? Pink Lady Cake. ... hmm. I looked at the [complicated]recipe and knew these were it. I didn't change a thing except I put them in a cupcake pan, not 3 layer cake pans. :) They were marvelous.... so much so that my little brother wants them for his birthday... caaa ching. you need to try these cupcakes, i'm for serious. 
first photo is the finished project. :)8 miles.
i have ran 8 miles in the past week, EIGHT MILES. After being out for over 6 weeks and really not running at ALL (besides a realllly light 3 miles and 2 laps around the track) 8 miles feels amazing. Doc told me that I can run as long as I don't hurt before, during or after and surprisingly that has been the case. I just ran 3 tonight (new PR for that particular run!) and I can feel my foot if you know what I mean, it doesn't hurt per say... but I feel like it's just saying.. "hey, hey, hey anna! I am here, be careful."
I need to listen to my body. I am totally that run through the pain girl, one more mile girl, sprint at the end and don't let anyone beat me girl... I am that girl... but I am realizing that if I keep being that girl I am going to be that girl who is getting surgery. God has got to be teaching me something through this experience because this stuff is HARD. I am also very, very hard on myself, my workouts are never "enough" i always feel like I could do more and this too, has to stop. I am healthy. I am strong. that is important, not how long I was on the elliptical or how many crunches I did, especially if I am fairly consistent and I switch up my workouts...
Dear Anna, it is OKAY to have a light day. It is OKAY to not do a ton of abs and arms. Its OKAY to go to spin and then just go home. its OKAY to just do yoga one day. jeesh.
I've got to get a handle on this sweet tooth.
I have the worst sweet tooth ever lately and its killing me. I think I might give up sweets for a while to tell myself that I dont NEED them, to teach myself that they should be a treat and not something I eat a lot of every day. ( I mean im not horrible about it but still)
greek yogurt is amazing. try it. [thats all]
Do you ever find yourself asking God, or wanting to ask God... "what does this mean?" ? because I do. lately. now. a lot.
I had this friendship that was really important to me for 4 years... and even though it was one of my favorite things and was really awesome, it also was really toxic. It taught me a lot but it was hard and it hurt and i cried a lot. There came a time where I had to decide that i was done feeling invisible, like i was the only one in this friendship and this was seriously one of the hardest moments of my life. Admitting that this person didn't look at our friendship the way I did felt like I was knocking the wind out of myself over and over. I stopped this friendship completely for 4 months and I promised myself I wouldnt be the one to start it again. I prayed over and over for God's will to be done with this friendship because even though I knew deep down what I wanted for it I knew it was more important for me to pray that God do what he wanted with it. I even told God that i knew his will probably wasnt mine and that it would hurt but it was okay. and then when I am starting to feel peace about this whole thing, true, real peace and forgiveness ... 4 months later... this friendship pops back into my life. what does this mean, God? Am I supposed to jump back into this? Are you telling me its okay? Or am I manifesting all this in my brain because its secretly what I want? when i think about it and then randomly see this person, is this a sign? how do I read this? why did I go through 4 hard but great years? Is this a friendship that was never supposed to be? why were the things that were said, said? why were deep stories told? why was there ever a feeling of being invisible? what does this all mean God? am I supposed to let go? why would you put this person in my life for no reason? what's the reason? i need some explanation. im afraid of doing the wrong thing.
but this is the thing about God. he's not just going to hand over an explanation to me on a silver platter. he's going to teach me, he's going to show me but I have to trust him, i have to have faith in HIS plan, I need to know that it all happens for a reason but I also need to be okay with not knowing the reason, I pray that i can do this, that i can continue to put this in is hands and completely trust that he's got it all figured out. i need to just be.
just roll with it. no worries. no hurries. just Jesus.
there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. the one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
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